[I found this article in my documents folder. No idea why I didn’t publish it back in Feb 2011?! Anyway, here it is with only a couple of minor edits ... ]
No, I’m not talking about the emotion here, the ‘I love ya’ thing – that’s not much more than an egoic impulse to attach to another out of a sense of incompletion .... for another article.
Here, I’m referring to the energy pattern that vibrates at a frequency we refer to as love.
In a recent Ayahuasca journey I embarked with the intention to ‘know love’ but in the moment of voicing my intention, what came out was “I want to know the masculine aspect of love”.
It seems that the expression of the love vibration is distinct depending on whether it is the masculine expression or the feminine expression. I appreciate this is going to piss a lot of people off, but I’m just passin’ along the message!
One of my favourite metaphysical authors and friend Stuie Wilde often refers to love as the act of concentrating on something. I felt a connection with his definition, but couldn’t quite get it. Later, I translated that into words that better fit my own perceptions: ‘Love is the act of paying attention’.
During my Ayahuasca journey I was presented with all kinds of subtle variations on paying attention, and in her usual compassionate but brutal way, Aya showed me how my tendancy was to project attention in a rather infringing way. My attention came loaded with mind forms such as judgement and desire together with a projected force that prevented me from witnessing anything subtle enough to be below my level of force.
Analogy: if you want to regard a tiny piece of fluff up close, you have to hold your breath. The slightest slip of vigilance and the item of your attention is quite literally ‘blown away’!
Of course, Aya can push back, so I got to experience the aggressive nature of my ‘love’ reflected back to me, only magnified to bone crushing intensity!
Eventually, after several hours of teaching I started to understand that attention must be rested not projected. It’s very different and for the masculine, it’s very difficult.
Another way to put this is to surrender one’s attention, but it is held at one’s center, not projected outwards towards the space that is being witnessed.
Being a mostly masculine male, I had thought that any masculine trait would involve an expansive/yang aspect, but I was being shown in no uncertain terms that the key to the masculine expression of the vibration of love involved absolutely no movement whatsoever.
In fact, it was the immutable, immovable, rock solid nature of the attention that provided the anchor needed for the feminie expression of love, which is simply movement (yeah, that was a bit of a shocker to me too!) [I've later come to use the term Flow instead of movement, as it has a give/receive feel to it]
To put it in more poetic terms, the masculine watches the dance of the feminine. Without an unchanging and unaffected witnessing presence, the beauty of the dance is lost and therefore pointless.
For those that want to shout here: “but but but, I love to dance by myself, for myself”, you’re missing the point. In this case, it is the masculine aspect of unchanging awareness within you that witnesses the feminine aspect of movement. Both must be present and the extent to which they are is the extent to which the energy pattern of love is realised.
Interestingly, either aspect calls the other aspect into being. The more immovable the masculine witnessing presence (i.e. no agenda, no judgement, no force, no distraction), the more freely and fluidly the feminine expresses.
Try it for yourself. Rest your pure and unencumbered attention on someone and watch their expression flower.
Achieving and maintaining a state of rested attention is far from easy. It requires an awareness and vigilance over one’s internal state that few can muster. At time of writing I’ve yet to achieve it in normal waking 3D, but having experienced in my journey the absolutely exquisite nature of being in that state, and the divine interaction between the masculine and feminine expressions of love, I know it’s well worth the effort.